Error Proof Test
by Journey Me
Summary: Modernfic. Kaoru tells Kenshin something they're not ready for. Sometimes things aren't as error proof as you think. Oneshot. KK


**Disclaimer: Ruroni Kenshin and corresponding characters are the sole property of Watsuki Nobuhiro. E.P.T is not mine either. Author's notes will be at the bottom.**

Kaoru was waiting. Of course she believed in the saying all good things take time, but this wasn't a good thing. Oh no, this was bad. A very bad evil thing that she didn't want to deal with this early in her life. This was a life changing thing, a career-wrecking thing, a perfect-man repellent! (Although she was convinced she had the perfect man and therefore had no problem with said repellent, and if there were more than one perfect man than she'd be inclined to believe that the thing wouldn't matter. But of course that's a lie because we all know that men and commitment don't mix.)

This type of waiting included nail biting, hair pulling, aggravated pacing and at certain intervals; screeching. Three minutes wouldn't faze her normally, but this was the longest three minutes of her life. Kaoru was 19 going on 90. Of course this would happen to her, as luck has proven before it wants no healthy relationship with Kamiya's. (Personally, Kaoru often would give lady luck the finger then would remember her sick aunt in the hospital and give a hasty prayer to each Shichifukujin.)

As she reached for the not-so-innocent white wand, she heard the most horrible sound that could be heard in this particular situation that Kaoru found herself in. Not that she enjoyed these types of situations much, but she too frequently found herself in them. Okay, so it's not always this bad. Usually it was more embarrassing on her part and included one or more persons walking in on her mid something or other that involved her removing one or more articles of clothing, usually more damning than a sock.

"Kaoru?"

It was the last person on earth, heaven and hell she wanted to see at the moment… and the next few.

"Where are you?"

Peeking at the last thing she wanted to be holding in her hand at the moment, especially one saturated with her own urine… and screamed bloody murder.

She heard something thud then a voice mutter, "Just keep screaming, I'll find you." She wasn't certain if he was kidding or not.

Kenshin noted her pale face and trembling hands before he looked around at the torn cardboard pieces and small white wand she held in said trembling hands. "What's wrong?"

Her scared façade seemed to disappear the moment she heard his voice. "I'll tell you what's wrong, you… you… you, rokudenashi!" She punctuated each word by stabbing the air with the wand. Because the air was keeping him alive, yeah, it was an accomplice in the whole thing. Damn air. "You got me pregnant!"

Silence hung thick in the air after her outburst, till a thud sounded throughout the apartment. "Orooro." Yes, complete with swirly eyes and twitching limbs, our hero lay prone on the floor mumbling.

Kaoru dropped to her knees next to the fallen man, slapping him lightly on the cheeks. "Snap out of it! Even I didn't faint and I'm the one having the baby!"

Kenshin, his eyes a mixture of lavender and gold, stared at his attacker. "Baby?"

Kaoru slumped against the wall with a bemused sigh. "Yes Kenshin, a baby." She raised a hand to rub her temples and threw the wand in the trash.

"Orooro." Said flustered man fell on the floor again much to the chagrin of his girlfriend.

Mumbling she whacked him on the head, "How did I know this would go over so well?" When only another orooro fell from his lips, she sighed. "Kenshin, there's something wrong when I'm being all rational about this and your laying on the floor all… err- irrationally." Kaoru huffed and crossed her arms, hitting her head on the sink in the process. "Kenshiiin!"

Shooting up from his hunched position, he asked with wide eyes, "Are you sure?"

Kaoru picked up the shredded box front and waved it in front of his face. She pointed to the large letters in the center proclaiming: e.p.t. "They don't call it the _error proof test _for nothing!"

Cradling the hand frantically waving the box he gentled his voice, "But, are _you _sure?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jumping up and pacing the small bathroom she continued her rant. "Of course I'm sure! I didn't just buy the test because I thought it'd be fun! I mean, you can't fool these things, they're _error proof._" Kaoru threw her hands up, "Has the idea of fatherhood made you crazy, Kenshin? Am I sure, he asks. Do you think I have some sixth sense about these things?"

"Sate sate koishii, sessha meant nothing by that. Sessha simply wanted to know if you were sure." Kenshin placed calming hands on her arms, bringing them down to her sides. "Koishii, do you realize what this means?"

Trying to maintain her anger while he was holding her was difficult, but she managed to mumble one last scathing retort. "That my father will kill you when he finds out for not marrying me first?" Her voice further lowered, "And he'll resurrect you and kill you again because you're ten years older than me."

Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at her truthful reply, he stuttered. "B-b-besides this one's death."

Letting her head fall against his shoulder she breathed in his comforting scent. "We'll be parents, and we are so very not ready for it."

Winding his arms around her limp form Kenshin murmured quietly, "Aa." Guiding her toward their bedroom he fumbled with his coat. "Lay down koishii, sessha will get you something to drink."

Numbly, Kaoru did as he told her. Kenshin found her staring out the window when he returned. "Kenshin?"

"Yes?"

Kaoru turned to stare at him, eyes suspiciously bright. "I don't think I can handle having a baby so early." Small hands gripped the bedspread beneath them as she closed her eyes. "I mean, I'm just ending my first year in college, I won't be able to finish." Kenshin wiped away the few tears that leaked from her tightly clenched eyes. "How would we be able to support ourselves and a baby?"

Kneeling in front of her he placed his hands on either cheek. "Kaoru-koi, look at me." When she bit her lip and refused he sighed and kissed her forehead gently. "Please?"

At hearing the desperation in his voice her blue eyes squinted open. Letting go of her face, Kenshin held up a small velvet box. "Kaoru," he began, clearing his throat when his voice squeaked. "I -"

"You're not just doing this because I'm pregnant are you? Because I swear to -" She found herself unable to continue because there were lips on hers, which were very distracting when trying to form coherent words. Against her will (which will she wasn't sure because Kenshin's lips on hers was something she never protested), she melted into his embrace eyes fluttering closed.

And right back open when he didn't do anything more than mold his lips to hers. Soft laughter rumbled through his chest.

"I was only gone two minutes, how could I have gotten the ring already if I hadn't wanted to marry you in the first place?" He placed another light kiss on her lips, eyes shining with humor. "Now that my speech was ruined, and I had it all planned out too. Most of it was about your eyes, how they shine like –"

"Yes Kenshin, I'll marry you. Just shut up and kiss me already." And he did, because I am a very cliché author when it comes to romance scenes.

_1 week later, at the doctor's office._

"I don't think I heard you right. Say it again."

Kaoru's doctor sighed; she didn't like to repeat herself, especially seven times. "You're not pregnant."

"But… but the test said I was, it's supposed to be _error proof!_" Kaoru looked to her doctor with wide eyes, almost as if saying it was taboo.

Megumi whacked her patient on the back of the head, and continued despite the angry glare sent her way. "There are many things that could affect the outcome of those tests Kaoru; you should have come to me when you first suspected you were pregnant. God knows why Kenshin would have tried that with you anyway, when he could have me."

Kaoru glared with all her might, which never seem to affect the level-headed doctor. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come now, tanuki, don't tell me you're _that _dense."

Growling Kaoru raised an arm, rolling back her sleeve, "Why you –!"

Megumi's saccharine smile swung into place as a nosy nurse passed. "Why don't you go to your fiancée in the lobby, I'm sure he's very anxious to hear the news."

Kaoru snorted. "Anxious doesn't begin to cover it. You should have been there when I told him, he didn't quite faint but he couldn't stop saying 'Orooro…', then all he would say was 'Baby?'" Seeming to contemplate this, an evil smile worked its way to Kaoru's face. "Say Megumi; do by chance have any appointments soon?"

The young doctor turned her nose up at the other girl. "And why, pray tell, do you want to know?"

With a determined sigh, determined not to slap Megumi silly, Kaoru raised to her toes to whisper in the doctor's ear.

"Ohohoho! Who would've thought the tanuki would come up with such an idea? I do think we can have some fun yet!"

Five minutes later found Kaoru back on the examination table and Kenshin by her side clutching her hand for dear life. "You said there was something wrong with the baby?"

Megumi scanned her eyes over the clipboard with all the seriousness of one befitting her station for a few seconds before answering in a regretful voice. "Yes, at first when we administered the ultrasound, we thought the baby had growths." A sound, suspiciously like a whimper, escaped Kenshin. Kaoru winced from the tightening hold on her hand. "At second glance we were happy to note that your baby had no growths." The pain lessened. "You're having triplets!"

Bypassing the 'orooro' stage, Kenshin dropped to the floor in a dead faint.

"I think he hurt himself Megumi."

"He'll be fine."

Kaoru looked down on her fiancée and choked back a laugh. Kenshin lay sprawled on the floor, landing somehow spread eagle and drooling from a corner of his open mouth. "When do you think I should tell him the truth?"

"Well, considering you'd supposedly have been pregnant for 2 months now, I'd tell him soon." Megumi chuckled and said, "Although, you could get him to do whatever you wanted for as long as he doesn't know."

Tugging a lock of hair Kaoru sighed dreamily, "Ah, a week of Kenshin -"

"That's all I want to hear tanuki." Megumi shuttered and started for the door. "I'll get some smelling salts, and probably a cold compress."

Kaoru snorted at her back, jumping from the exam table and struggled to lift the deadweight, she called to Megumi's back. "Take your time; I don't think Kenshin'll be getting up anytime soon."

_Let's all give one big thank you to the amazing beta that I could have never finished this without: Isabel Ice! Even though she thinks she didn't do anything, she was amazing. _

_Shichifukujin- the seven deities of Good Luck. I figure since the term is referring to more than one deity, it would be grammatically correct to say 'each Shichifukujin'. _

_Rokudenashi- bum/ good for nothing/ ne'er do well. I wouldn't think she would be too creative with those insults in this situation…or period really. _

_All I really have left to say is; I hope you enjoyed this and I really hope you'll leave some feedback. I always love criticism. _


End file.
